Posted by Racer on December 6, 2002, at 14:24:28
In reply to Trying to understand myself...IsoM, posted by miller on December 6, 2002, at 13:52:46
Ya know, Miller, it's funny because when I read your last paragraph of the Post In Question, I took it the opposite way: I wondered how FEW people would actually do it if they had the sort of means you described. My experience with suicidal thoughts and feelings -- and actions -- is that when it's actually in front of me is when I realize how much what I really want is HELP and SUPPORT and ASSISTANCE. That's what I thought you were trying to get across.
I agree absolutely that a lot of doctors out there are really, really terrible for anyone in pain -- especially some of the public health doctors I've seen, since I'm not insured. The people who most need help are least likely to get it in all too many cases. (Mind you, that doesn't mean all PH docs, just that the PHS sometimes has to take what they can get, in a way private groups don't.)
Hell, I had one pdoc tell me that I was so sick, and so screwed up there wasn't really anything anyone could do to help me! The reason for this diagnosis? The AD she prescribed and wouldn't change lowered my BP below 80/60. I couldn't walk across a room without falling down, and was sicking up most of what I tried to eat! She wouldn't change it, and the PHS wouldn't change my doctor. The night I sat with my lethal cocktail in hand, I wrote an open letter to my heirs telling them why they needed to sue the rat bastards for wrongful death, pain and suffering, and medical malpractice. Writing that letter turned out to be the best thing for me, because it got me angry at something or someone outside myself. Still got locked up in a very white room, but at least I told my erstwhile boy friend what was in the glass so no one got hurt by it.
You ever notice how people who are psychically fragile get so sensitive sometimes? (<< little joke on all of us, and a smile and best wishes just for you.)
poster:Racer
thread:33022
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33034.html