Posted by jay on December 6, 2002, at 6:23:06
Thinking the other day, as I left the doc's office, and talking about my 10 year bout with treatment-resistant depression and anxiety. You know...with only being with current doc for 3 years, I don't think it really dawned on him before my extensive history. He mentioned ECT as an option, and I am keeping an open mind, but right now, I would have to be even in a much, much darker place to have ECT. It's not the so-called "Brain Damage" that is touted by the Scientologists and their like...just the memory thing that scares me. PLUS..I still have not gone down all of my medication avenues.
I tend to be able to open people up..and develop close relationships fairly easy. Not because I am a 'social butterfly' (quite the opposite..at least that is how I feel), but I think because of my work and training as a social worker. I have met and worked with SOOOOO many people, people you would NEVER even suspect, who are on psych medication. Just from a brief tally....1 in 3 or so around me in my life are on some kind of psych med. Such a wide range...from simple middle-class, to very rich, to those living in poverty. Co-workers...parents...children..heck even pets! I'd say the ratio is maybe even closer to 1 in 2...but of course it is not much of a difference.
See...that is a part of depression and anxiety, and most mental illness. Illusions between what is real...and what we think is real. We feel so alone...yet we are really very, very similar in condition to SO many. That is part of the illness...is that it really try's to trick you and your thinking. Yell back at it...tell it to "F*** off"!
I also wanted to say..I think it takes a TON of courage to take medications...to live with all the side effects, often quite painful. But use the meds as part of your artillery in the fight against your illness. It may take months, at a maximum, very high dose of a couple of medications to bring you significant relief...and that is a price we have to pay. It's also costly monetary wise..between insurance premiums, or those of us without insurance, the cost of the drugs themselves. BUT...in ways we are also lucky to have the meds we do, even compared to 10-12 years ago, even though we still have a ways to go in finding medication that works both fast, and relieves all of our symptoms w/o side effects.
For people who haven't 'been there', and they try to give 'advice' about how 'evil' medication is (even though like anything, yes we have to be cautious and use it responsibly), ignore them. Remember how short life is...and maybe there are many days often where we don't feel like carrying on living...and you are not alone in your feeling, as likely every day, a number of people you meet feel exactly the same way. It doesn't make it any easier to continue living...but it can provide some comfort.
/rant
Jay
poster:jay
thread:33021
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33021.html