Posted by mair on September 30, 2002, at 21:45:38
In reply to Re: I am sooo lucky. » SandraDee, posted by Dinah on September 30, 2002, at 16:31:34
Sandra
I always worked and had child care, but I do recall that those years when my children were very small were the only time in my life that I looked forward to Monday mornings. My husband not infrequently would work on Sundays and by the time he came home, I just wanted him to take over so I could leave (of course it never worked this way) If you look around you will find all sorts of examples of different accommodations made. The one that most impressed me was the man I'd see in the grocery store with his small children. In that family, making up grocery lists and doing the shopping was his job and he always did it with the kids.
My husband has always done alot of things with the kids but it really is not the same - most of the time he'd be freeing me up to do some other household chore, while he went off to do something fun with the kids, of course expecting huge kudos for taking the kids off my hands. What I probably appreciated most, however, were the very rare times that he took the kids with him while he tried to do an errand that I might otherwise have done. Multi-tasking is just not something my husband has ever been able to do. Most woman I know do it as a matter of necessity.
It's taken me years to get to the point where I don't feel guilty every time I schedule an activity that is strictly for me. But now that I've been able to see how beneficial it is for me, of course I wish I had regularly scheduled time for myself when my children were much smaller. You need to point out to your husband that you need the very things that he obviously holds so dear - time for yourself - and (a big AND) you need for him to help make these opportunities available to you without making you feel guilty - This means he can't act like he should win some major award for doing what you do umpteen times a day.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:30633
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020924/msgs/30697.html