Posted by ~~tabitha~~ on August 28, 2002, at 6:13:43
Life doesn't stop throwing losses at us, and losses must be grieved, or things get screwed up. All my stuff lately about being unattractive and thinking only young people are attractive is just a big diversion from the grief of losing youth. 40 approaches quickly. I can't avoid it. More grief that must be processed, else I'll become a pitiful cliched age-avoiding denying joke like the midlife crisis case I dated in my 20s.
I get it now. I get the whole stereotypical male midlife thing of hooking up with a 25 yr old woman. (And whatever the female equivalent would be--plastic surgery binge?) It's all the awful loss of physical youth! Tragic. Must be grieved is all. I'm tired of grieving losses.
As I was complaining about my appearance, my therapist asked me if my vision had started to go yet. You know how you need bifocals in your 40s. She pointed out it makes looking in the mirror easier, you can't see the details anymore. She was not joking.