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Re: Here's how it's done!

Posted by Phil on August 17, 2002, at 10:32:25

In reply to Re: How therapists decide who to help » Dinah, posted by Ted on August 17, 2002, at 10:00:47

They look out their window and see what kind of car your driving, do a background and credit check, determine if you might be the type that begs for samples, call previous pdocs to see if you're nuts, put their finger in their mouth, walk outside to see which way the winds blowing, call their astrologer and psychologist and with that info..make an enlightened decision.
Then a short interview..what drugs have you tried?
a. Marijuana, mescaline, mushrooms, cocaine.."Stop. How did you feel on coke?"
a. Focused. "Good, you are ADHD. You look nervous, any anxiety?"
a. Yes, I go to Mexico every other month for Xanax, Valium and Klonopin. "You take all three at once?"
a. Only if we're having a kegger. Usually I take Xanax and sell the rest.
"Remind me to keep you away from my sample closet."
a. Uh, where is it so I don't accidentally go there thinking it's the bathroom?
-Question ignored-
"What do you do for fun?"
a. Turn off the light switches and check them 20 times before I leave the house.
"I'll have to look that up. Are you homosexual?"
No, but if it will help, you look nice.
"Are you heterosexual?"
a. Is this a joke? Most of my sex is self-administered.
"How are you sleeping?"
a. On my side motely.
"Do you believe in God?"
a. I don't understand.
"Do you have hallucinations or hear voices?"
a. Just the time I smoked some hydro.
"Have you smoked marijuana long?"
a. As long as I can get it.
"It could interfere with your treatment."
a. No, the treatment might interfere with the buzz.
"I must admit, I smoke, too..anything, you know, around?"
a. I think we could work it out.
"Terrific, I'll charge $22.00 an hour."


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