Posted by Gabbi on July 31, 2002, at 23:03:04
In reply to Romance and Depression, posted by Peter S. on July 31, 2002, at 20:31:26
Does anyone really ever listen to advice when it comes to romance?:) Especially if it is one particular person you are interested in.
The way you described depression being undignified was priceless, that it is.
If you have hopes of your mood stabilizing I would say WAIT!!!!! Because what is even more undignifying is feeling rebuffed (even if it caused by your depression "glasses" and then feeling really insecure and desperate, pleading for reassurance to the point of being annoying.
And when your composure has returned trying to convince the object of your affection that that was not the way you really are.
(can you tell thats whats happened to me?)I think it depends on what form your depression takes, a lot of people can understand someone needing space, especially if the woman is secure enough to know its not personal. If you feel really isolated and needy when you are depressed I think its risky to start anything, because though the feelings would probably happen anyway, its easy to think they are caused by some perceived flaw in the relationship.
Not to mention if the person decides after a few dates that you aren't compatable you won't be able to take it as rationally as a "healthy" person would.I've heard its possible to succeed despite the depression. It hasn't happened to me though I've had plenty of beginnings and it was definately my depression behavior that killed them.
Being a woman may make my experiences even more different from your own possibilities though.
good luck (thats such a huge help I know)
Gabbi
poster:Gabbi
thread:27716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27725.html