Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2002, at 8:04:27
> Hi. I'm having a real hard time these past few weeks. Everyday I feel as if I want to die. The past few days I've been planning ways to do it. I don't think I would kill myslef, b/c I am afraid I'd go to hell...but I feel like I'm living in hell anyway. I feel abandoned by God, by those who are supposed to be my friends, by doctors and therapists. I feel like I've done all I am supposed to do to help me with my illnesses, but nothing works...and it's not worth living anymore. I can't even leave the house...it's too hard. I hate myself, and my life and I can't see it getting better. I thought of going into the hospital, but if I have to quit one more semester of school b/c of this I will loose it, I mean literally loose it. My sponsor says I'm not good coz I need to get into the program more...well I've tried and am trying...I just want to die. I can't find a new psychiatrist...I've been trying to get a new one...I make calls almost everyday. I called my old therapist to see if he'd see me and help me w/ my insurance benefits that ran out. I feel no joy and no hope. No one understands. I just do not care anymore. I just want to drink myself to death. I hate everything.
poster:Dinah
thread:26327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/26327.html