Posted by shar on July 1, 2002, at 3:12:14
In reply to Re: Priests and Child Sexual Abuse » paxvox » judy1 » paxvox, posted by kiddo on June 30, 2002, at 20:34:12
Somehow that blaming thing happens with me, too. For me it is rooted in massive amounts of mistrust. I have worked through many levels of the issue (years of therapy), and I have a friend now who is very comfortable with my 'venting' about what has happened before, and he can get as angry about it as I do. He is also clear that he isn't going to be included as a 'responsible party.'
He conveys to me that what happened before was not him, that that behavior is not part of our friendship, and he does not ever want it to be part of our friendship (even by proxy).
Somehow he does this in a way that is clear and firm but not threatening to me, it sets a boundary between past and present that helps me see the difference, and relax a little. I end up feeling valued and not criticized or hurt (which surprises me).
S
poster:shar
thread:25822
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/25940.html