Posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 6:43:01
In reply to June 6th is father's b-day.....he's dead., posted by aLII on June 4, 2002, at 4:24:23
My grandmother was one of my best friends. She died unexpectedly when my daughter was just two months old. I was at her grave for the burial and a year later for the stone unveiling. But those have been my only visits in the four years since her death.
I talk to her several times a week. I think of her at 11:00 p.m., if I am lying awake, because that's the time we used to talk for hours. I send her messages. I look for replies.
You needn't visit the site of the body to conjure the spirit of the ones you love. The body itself is inert. The spirit is how we communicate. So don't beat yourself up over a symbol.
Furthermore, you are at a low ego point, but I'm certain your dad would be able to see the good person you've become, and that would have made him proud. Look, for example, at how you helped me--and others--on this board. It's okay to ask for help, too, but you are not selfish, as you have been eager to give. That in itself is something in which to take pride.
Every morning at breakfast, I tell my daughter stories about my grandfather, who fed me either Farina, Cream of Wheat, or Life (my daughter's three favorite breakfasts) every morning before third grade, when I lived there briefly. That way, he's alive for both of us.
Talk to your dad. It's a nice meditation, and it may help you come to peace with yourself.
beardy : )>
poster:beardedlady
thread:25028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/25029.html