Posted by mair on May 31, 2002, at 15:35:31
In reply to No motivation...to do anything!, posted by Penny on May 31, 2002, at 9:34:51
I wonder if this has something to do with the fact that both of you need to find jobs. Sometimes when I have something looming that I'm dreading, I totally withdraw and get nothing done - of course that puts me more behind and makes whatever it is that I'm dreading all that bigger a deal. (which of course makes me want to avoid it even more)
Penny - I know you get incredibly discouraged. At times, I get so overwelmed by suicidal thinking that I just can't imagine ever thinking any more positively. Sometimes suicide seems alluring just so I no longer have to think about it as frequently and obsessively as I do. As you've pointed out, you do have some things going for you, including a pretty supportive therapist and pdoc. I think in really down times, maybe you just have to trust their judgment about your ability to get better. It doesn't always help, but I do try to remember that my most suicidal thoughts are distortions so no matter how crystally clear I think I'm thinking, maybe things are more complicated than they seem. My therapist also tried to get me to think of these thought processes as nothing more nor less than symptoms - presumably ones that can be treated. The idea here with me is not to impose a secondary judgment on them - like they're some awful reflection of me.
I'm quickly reaching the "babbling too much to make any sense stage" so I better stop before I get in deeper hot water.
Mair
Mair
poster:mair
thread:24913
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/24921.html