Posted by mair on May 17, 2002, at 18:01:50
A couple of months ago, I was in pretty bad shape depression-wise, maybe just my usual mid-winter swoon. Today I discovered (had someone point out to me) that I made a truly egregious work-related error during that period - fortunately remediable, but really inexcusable, could-have-been disastrous, embarrassing, deflating and every other bad adjective related to work performance that I can think of. It's the kind of mistake I've never made before - ever - and I would definitely consider someone else who made it to be a raging incompetent at worst, or just sloppy and unprofessional at best. I could just decide that I, too, am incompetent or maybe just incompetent when depressed. (the lines get blurred) I've always continued to work regardless of the state of my depression - I need the money. But I have worried about how much easier it is to make a mistake when you have no ability to concentrate for any measurable period of time, and I really think that even in the best of times I'm a little slow and brain dead either from the meds or just years of fighting off depressions. I'm not sure what I can do, but it's just so demoralizing. I feel like I shouldn't really continue to work at my same job, because I'm sure the next big mistake is already out there, but I do need to work.... It's also a testament to trying to do too much - not controlling your workload, but how can you do that when you're in a perpetual state of disorganized distraction?
Mair
poster:mair
thread:23983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020517/msgs/23983.html