Posted by Roo on May 3, 2002, at 14:32:13
Do any of you feel particularly insecure in your
romantic relationships? I'm insecure in general, but
I seem to be even more so with my romantic partner.
Of course, it's new, only 4 months...maybe that's why...
but it seems like when I'm single I'm much more
confident.I am feeling so insecure about my boyfriend lately.
He doesn't have a lot of patience for that sort
of thing...he understands it and says it's
just human, but doesn't really have the stamina
to discuss it at length and be real touchy
feeling and comforting about it.
That's where he and my ex really differ.
Although I'm happier with my current boyfriend, my ex
really indulged me and my need
for constant reassurance and comfort.
In a way, it's kind of good that Gene (my boyfriend now) doesn't,
b/c it never really did any good anyway--I could
never be reassured enough, it seemed,
I am often a bottomless pit of insecurity.
I convince myself that he doesn't really like me,
that I'm boring etc. even though the facts
are he shows no signs of that--calls every day,
sometimes twice a day to check in, we usually go
out to lunch at least once, sometimes twice
a week, and see each other 3 times a week. The fact
that he does all these things and yet I still feel
insecure and like "why does he like me? I'm boring
and depressed half the time...he's going to get sick
of me" makes me feel even crazier. I am completely undervalueing myself lately
and I am discusted with myself for it.
I don't like that about myself.
The only thing that REALLY helps is doing
something that nurtures me--painting, staying
in touch with friends, having some quality time
alone (not just moping time alone...but
enjoyable time alone)....But it's hard to do that
stuff when i'm depressed and then I get overfocused
on how my partner is feeling about me.Can anyone relate? I guess I'm feeling the need
for some sympathy and comfort. I feel so unlovable.
And frustrated b/c no one else can make me feel loved
no matter how hard they try b/c I don't love myself.
It's such a miserable feeling.
poster:Roo
thread:23057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/23057.html