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Choosing Civility, day two (etymology)

Posted by trouble on March 27, 2002, at 5:40:42

In reply to Re: My kind of Practice! » trouble, posted by Zo on March 25, 2002, at 15:00:53

Hey all,

I'm on page 9 already, and today's lesson is news to me:

"...Civility belongs in the realm of ethics.

"Courtesy, politeness, manners and civililty are all, in essence, forms of awareness. Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness.

"...To understand POLITENESS, we must think of POLISH. The polite are those who have polished their behavior.

"...When we think of GOOD MANNERS, we often think of children being taught to say 'please' and 'thank you' and chew w/ their mouths closed.
This may prevent us from looking at manners w/the attention they deserve. 'Manner' comes from 'manus,' the Latin word for 'hand.' 'Manner' and 'manners' have to do w/the use of our hands. A manner is the way something is done, a mode of handling. Thus 'manners' came to refer to behavior in social interaction-the way we handle the encounter btwn Self and Other.

"...CIVILITY'S defining characteristic is its ties to 'city' and 'society'. The word derives from...'civitas', ...the same word from which 'civilization' comes. The age-old assumption behind civility is that life in the city has a civilizing effect. The city is where we enlighten our intellect and refine our social skills. And as we are shaped by the city, we learn to give of ouselves for the sake of the city..."

Well no wonder we're all so upset! If I may add an observation to the above, it strikes me that the pain and cynicism Old School and others are sharing tonight is about the decline of our great cities, our awareness of the "coarsening of America," that good people don't want to contribute to, but feel it closing in on them, and helpless to combat it, lash out in rage and disappointment, our idealism quashed, skidding inexorably into corrosive derision.

Or not. This is just my take on things. I am practically inhaling this book, his view of awareness, yeah, sure, awareness is good, or at least benign, until I get it and then try to erase it. Then awareness turns into rumination, gets demanding, makes me crazy-trying to go back to not-knowing, when it's too late and is no longer an option, I can drink to forget, deny and distort, but that's all temporary. To be aware of the real world w/out letting it eat you up, no, I've never seen that in a human being, never. I'm getting pissed now, itching to shoot him down for spewing granola, then turn to page 10.

BEING CIVIL TO ONE ANOTHER IS MUCH MORE ACTIVE AND POSITIVE A GOOD THAN MERE POLITENESS OR COURTESY, BUT LIKE MANY OTHER IMPORTANT GOODS, SUCH AS GENEROSITY, GRATITUDE OR SOLIDARITY, IT IS NOT THE SORT OF THING THAT CAN BE
"D E M A N D E D" AS A MATTER OF DUTY, LIKE A MORAL ENTITLEMENT. (Robert B. Pippin)

Somethin tells me I'm in good hands here,
the man looks like a square, and I'm aware of that too.

trouble


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/21003.html