Posted by Zo on March 19, 2002, at 19:07:10
In reply to Re: still cutting... » ELA, posted by Krazy Kat on March 19, 2002, at 14:46:56
Whether you leave or stay with them, it's still the same pain to get over, the pain of having these people not care. Probably not know how. Probably your Dad thinks he loves you. If you have somewhere else to stay for a while where this stressor will not be in your face, that sounds like a good idea.
But cutting? I see it as a dance, a beautiful, tragic dance, in which you create and recreate that which will not be seen for those you most wish to see it. Eventually you won't have to do anything, neither cut them or yourself, because you will have worked through your rightful anger. . .just as all of us who were so profoundly neglected, like you, come to terms with it.
The cuts--they take the place of words, don't they? Of drawings? Are you creative? I suspect so. When I hurt myself repetitively, it was on a tiny enclosed scale, an immense amount of creative energy and love that had nowhere to go, all focused on an inch of my skin. That's the size of the world they granted me, the size of their parenting skills, their care.
Take that energy and make it big. I started out with these gigantic sheets of cheap paper. Mine, all mine. We're here, PB is here, I think, to give you some of that Big World you deserve.
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:20204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020314/msgs/20282.html