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Re: such difficult decisions » Katey

Posted by Mair on January 28, 2002, at 21:38:46

In reply to such difficult decisions, posted by Katey on January 28, 2002, at 20:13:50

Katey - I think it sort of depends on what you otherwise get out of your high school experience. If you feel pretty detached from people and things at school, maybe community college will offer you a better range of courses, and more flexible scheduling. If high school and your friends there are a big part of how you identify yourself, you may not be ready to make that next step. Regardless of what you may envision, I do think you'll feel more detached from your friends who have stayed in high school. You will lack the bond of common experience, which may or may not be immportant to you. Community colleges, as I know them, are not great places for forging new bonds.

I have a son who is a junior. He's mature in some ways (or at least seems that way maybe only to his 19 year old girlfriend) and very young in others. I know that boys are generally way behind girls socially. I can't even begin to see him doing something like what you're suggesting not because he couldn't handle it academically, but because he doesn't have the social confidence, and I think needs the social connections that high school provides. Besides in his case, he can play a sport he likes on a varsity level, which won't happen when he goes to college.

I'm not a big believer in following recognized patterns, maybe because I followed them myself. If I had it to do over again, I'd take time off between high school and college, or during college, and certainly and without question between college and graduate school. I don't see the point of going to a college that you don't really want to attend, and I'd be fine with my son doing something else for a year, to avoid that or just to give him a different experience and a sense of independence.

What I would worry about some is the notion of his leaving high school, doing nothing particularly worthwhile and not quite being able to extricate himself from his parents and his town. However, I've always thought you've sounded tons more independent than he is, so maybe that wouldn't happen to you. I guess i'd hope for you that pulling out of school wouldn't isolate you from a support group you now have, and that you'd be motivated to move on in a year.

Mair


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