Posted by crinn on January 24, 2002, at 6:56:22
In reply to Being Patient - Both Sides » ELA, posted by IsoM on January 23, 2002, at 17:35:54
This may not get to you in time, and you may not want to try this, but perhaps if one (or both) of your parents could sit in on your pdoc appt. I did this with my husband. It terrified me (I'm very good at keeping my feelings bottled up inside, and didn't want him to see how sick I am, as if he didn't already know from living with me:)). Anyway, it was very helpful for him, and for him to be somewhat more supportive of me to hear it from a doctor--more authority, more credibility, whatever. Just because we're sick, we still have minds and feelings. (Sorry, I'm very grouchy today!)
Hang in there--it is very hard and you are being very strong. You have a lot of people pulling for you!! Warmly, Crinn
> I wasn't there, of course, to hear the conversation with your parents, but is it possible that they're more concerned about you making such a major decision now when you're not feeling at your best, rather than them being upset with you wanting to stop university?
>
> Perhaps if both you & your parents pull back from the career choice right now, & worry about improving your health instead, this major decision can be tackled later. If later on, you still prefer to stop university & choose another avenue instead, your parents will understand it's no spur-of-the-moment decision. Also, even if they do disagree, you'll be strong & ready to stand for your decision.
>
> It's unbelievably draining on a parent when a child (even grown) gets very ill & they're supporting & doing all they can. I've helped two sons through hospital stays for different reasons - three of the times were for serious depression & another an attempted sucicide, plus two major illnesses. It can leave the parent feeling so totally helpless & weak, wanting to do everything possible to make things better but there's only so much we can do. The big blow-up (& argument?) you had may have been the result of very drained emotions on both sides. It's so hard to show self-control when one's that weak & empty.
>
>
> > Oh dear,
> >
> > After the traumas of Saturday I thought that I was getting on pretty well considering. Until last night.
> >
> > I am seriously considering leaving university and starting afresh with something completely different. I am doing a teaching course and have been disillusioned with it for some time now, even before my illness in November. Unfortunately, my parents are not being very supportive of this at all and are putting an enormous amount of pressure on me to stay, saying that I am in "no condition" to make "life changing decisions".
> >
> > After a very heated discussion last night I went to bed in floods of tears and remained that way most of the night. Consequently, I am feeling awful this morning. My mind is completely blank, I don't know what to think about anything and I'm worried as that is how I felt on Saturday prior to what I tried to do to myself. Am going to see the doc later on today but have no idea what to say to her.
> >
> > NIGHTMARE...I HATE ALL THIS
poster:crinn
thread:17096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/17140.html