Posted by NikkiT2 on December 6, 2001, at 7:46:47
In reply to Cutting Anything Else Feel Good?, posted by IsoM on December 5, 2001, at 18:55:27
I h ave always been into cooking as a means of "relaxation", and find chopping onions utterly cathartic... but cutting myself is utterly different... Its when I get into the total utter black void where nothing makes any sense, and I am going to kill myself. This normally only happens when I'm in a psychotic faze, and by cutting i am concentrating feelings somewhere else.. To have pain other than in my brain... I never use sharp knives or blades, always crappy blunt ones that hurt like hell...
When I feel just bad, I have taken to plucking these days - it concentrates me onsomething, hurts a little, and is alot less destructive. But when I;m in my worst of places, there is nothing esle i can do other than cut...
Thing is, I always totally hate myself for it afterwards.
Nikki
> This may seem like the most ignorant question in the world to those who cut themselves, but I have no idea, & I figure only those who feel this way can answer it.
>
> My question is - If you're preparing a meal & have to cut vegetables or more so, meat, does it ever give a similar feel of satisfaction or relaxation like cutting yourself does?
>
> The reason I'm asking is that I'm a picker - I've managed to keep it enough under control that I just pick at the skin at the sides of my nails - sometimes till it bleeds. But I've found that if my fingers are busy picking away at other things, it feels just as satisfying. Not all things feel the same, it has to have a 'certain feel' to it & a resistance to be pulled off but I can substitute inanimate things for the feeling.
>
> I was wondering if cutting into pieces of meat or something with a certain give would help satisfy those cravings or needs without injuring yourself.
>
> Please forgive me if this question seems stupid. Not being a cutter, I'm not sure how exactly you feel about something. I'm not trying to take a holier-than-you approach - just looking for a substitute.
poster:NikkiT2
thread:14653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/15061.html