Posted by Greg A. on November 20, 2001, at 16:44:37
In reply to Fate.. bad luck ...give me a break........, posted by dreamer on November 19, 2001, at 22:42:12
My o my! What a timely post dreamer. Whose sick joke is this anyways? I have gone through a number of months where normal seemed within reach for me. And even tho I have felt a downward trend for a month or so, I would have a few good days to make me think I am back on track.
I want so very much to be well. Not just for me, although that selfish side is a big part of it, but also so I can treat friends and family as I want to treat them. Not just feel like a shell going through the motions of my life. I’m sorry but ‘mood swings’ just does not begin to describe it.
My positive outlook seems very fragile; confined to the days or weeks when I feel good. The moment there is a reversal I feel as if I am doomed to live in this bystander to life space forever. Today is pure crap for me. I dragged myself out of bed with half an hour to spare before work. I hurt everywhere. I put on whatever clothes were lying around. I ate 2 pieces of toast because one should eat in the morning. I took some of my meds. I hate the sight of them when they do not seem to be working. I drove my daughters to school. I am at work and all I am thinking about is leaving – but to go where or do what? And I add up the score sheet. I feel I am doing all I can on my side. What does it take to get a break??
BTW – congrats and wishes for the best to Kat. You have made a very important first step in getting your relationship on track. How did hubby feel about the counseling session? My wife and I tried counseling. It helped, as you said, to get us both to open up on issues which we were either avoiding or just did not seem to have the time to explore. What we failed to do was to make a commitment to change anything.
Funny – I just had a pdoc appointment last Friday and said things were fine. I guess I was also hoping – hoping that if I said it and stuck with it, it would be true. But it’s not.
I wish I could say or do something dreamer, to make it better – to stop life from breaking your heart. But all I can say right now is you’re not alone.Greg
poster:Greg A.
thread:14098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14128.html