Posted by jay on November 14, 2001, at 13:41:02
Hmmm..I WISH! This is part of the move from the depths of depression and anxiety, up to dating. I have mentioned this before, but it's just such a massive prejudice to overcome....plus other factors like large gaps in your life without a job, finances in ruin, even some health probs. (I got gingivitis thanks to the &*%^ing meds....but they have helped in ways I can't give enough credit for. I should have asked my doc for that med for dry mouth...but....that was yesterday.) I feel I am lucky, though, because I had support...people who cared for me and love me...and still do much so. I think many of us often say this...that as bad as it all is, it tends to change us into somehow better, more caring and tolerant people. You become meek and very non-judgemental when you feel like you are at the bottom of the garbage pile. Often I have felt like some criminal, charged with a weighted crime by society. I have become very, very liberal in my compassion for the "down-and-out" in society. Mind you, I have always been somewhat so, but now more than ever. Too bad much of the rest of the world didn't learn a lesson in being socially and personally compassionate.
I somehow think it can be done. It will take time, patience, and some real searching. I have started off with some personal ads...I know..not the best...but it is *something* to get grounded with. Relatiionships scare many people...but I have come to this point, at my grand old age of 32, that I am confident in what I want in a partner. I guess I am lucky that way too. Many have had plenty of bad experiences to scare them off from being in an open, loving relationship. I have spent so much time "grounding" myself in my depression and anxiety, that I have no "flights of fancy"...I really can see clearly as to what I want...know it...and am not afraid to show it. Woman say they respect that..so here is a toast to our charms!
Anyhow...'nough of my rambling.