Posted by susan C on October 27, 2001, at 16:56:55
In reply to Re: Of Wars and Rumors of Wars, posted by akc on October 27, 2001, at 7:32:46
dear akc, my apologies, too, and too, perhaps, i was reacting, as I avoid the news, i suspiciously looked at our newly arrived copy of Saudi Arabian Magazine (which is a wonderful beautiful publication we have been getting since visiting the Saudi exhibit in the 1986 world's fair...it didn't have a line in front of it) and wondered and worry about paxvox and everybody else...and I reacted, what would you say, cynically, too quickly, too simply, crudely? Perhaps even talking to myself, trying to gain some some some kind of perspective.
a humbled mouse
susan C> I go to group therapy, and we have talked on a fairly regular basis about all this stuff. Fear is a horrible thing. In our group, we all were horribly abused as children. It doesn't take much for us to be afraid, and even less to trust. While on one level, it may seem easy to think rationally that the risk is so remote as to be nil that I am going to get anthrax or be blown up by a terrorist, it is the case that I have a history that sometimes makes it hard for me to work rationally. Now personally, I am doing okay with this for the most part. But I am friends with some that are really struggling -- and the last thing that I see they need is patronizing words of get on with your life. While the fear may not be rational, the fear is still real to them. When your world has been about abuse (i.e., terror -- especially as a child), it is easy to get off-center -- and one must be gentle. One must listen, and help.
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> I know that even I have changed because of this -- irrational changes. I don't open junk mail -- well, I didn't open it before, but I always tore it up, so that someone else couldn't send it in for me. I don't do that anymore. I am fighting the start of a cold or my mild allergies are acting up -- I'm not sure which. But each time I cough, that irrational thought runs through my mind -- is this anthrax?
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> Fear is a horrible thing. Again, it may not be rational, but for some it is terribly real. And telling someone to pull themselves up by their boot-straps and get on with their lives -- I just wish you could know these women I have got to know in my group therapy. The progress they have made is so tremendous -- but the damage was great. We need gentleness, understanding, and not to be mocked when we obsessively wash our hands. This new world we live is really scary to us, and has knocked us off center.
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> akc
poster:susan C
thread:13013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011025/msgs/13041.html