Posted by afatchic on September 9, 2001, at 16:27:28
In reply to Lighten up.., posted by Phil on September 8, 2001, at 18:14:01
Thank you! That was great. I laughed so hard, I almost fell off my chair.
afatgigglychic
> Subject: 19 Things that it took me 50 years to learn
>
>
> 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
> the same night.
>
> 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
> not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would
> be "meetings."
>
> 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>
> 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
> want you to share yours with them.
>
> 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories,
> decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His
> messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
>
> 6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>
> 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
> seriously.
>
> 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual
> who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that
> individual is crazy.
>
> 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>
> 10. Never, ever, lick a steak knife.
>
> 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
>
> 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
>
> 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
> reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>
> 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
> that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
> from her at that moment.
>
> 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make
> a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
>
> 16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
> gender,
> religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
> we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>
> 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy
> people who are not in them.
>
> 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
> person.
>
> 19. Your friends love you anyway.
>
>
> Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that
> Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
poster:afatchic
thread:10983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010909/msgs/11029.html