Posted by Michael K on August 19, 2001, at 23:16:44
In reply to Re: I want to leave...Guilt trips?, posted by Shar on August 18, 2001, at 21:46:50
> I absolutely do not understand a spouse heaping guilt and other crap upon the head of a depressed spouse!
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> Does it go across gender lines? Are females as likely to do it as males? Any sense of an underlying theme to the guilt trips? Is it a lack of understanding depression?
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> It seems nasty and cruel to me.
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> SharShar,
No. Females are not nearly as likely to "to heap guilt and other crap upon the head of a depressed spouse" It probably is a lack of understanding of depression, but a female may have that same lack of understanding if they have not experienced it.
I have been married twice and I could not have asked for more support than I received. Neither spouse had any experience with depression, but still could recognize my pain and stood by me when I was not a lot of fun to be around. It may have been the innate nurturing and understanding traits of females, or maybe I just lucked out twice.
Both marriages are over now. My depression probably played a part in the breakup, but it was my fault, not their's. Many depressives are very self-centered and I was no exception.
My depression is still here, but my understanding of myself is improving. A great deal of that can be attributed to this board. I don't know what I would do without it.
Mike
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> > I've always wanted to just take off when in a manic phase but right now, when in the midst of a depressive one, I want to just leave and walk and not stop until I hit Canada. The only physical problem I have is near-sightedness. I've been ready to go into the hospital this last week for the first time since I can remember. Just got a horrible guilt trip from hubby. I don't even care. I just need to be left alone for awhile so I can get myself together...
poster:Michael K
thread:9816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/9943.html