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Re: Lurking

Posted by AMenz on August 18, 2001, at 23:54:22

In reply to Lurking, posted by AKC on August 11, 2001, at 20:00:23

YOu probably make a lot of money as a lawyer, hence you get better treatment or have agreat insurance plan.

I used to be a lawyer too but I have literally become phobic about the law, break into a sweat if I have to see a client.

> Okay,
>
> Confession time. I didn't go far. I just banned myself for about two days -- couldn't stand not looking. Then found it safe to read for the past 4 days. And the past two days have been itching to post. Even though I am in a pretty depressed state, you guys and gals can sure make me laugh sometime. And there are threads that are just hard to resist.
>
> I'm pretty suicidal in some ways, but am nowhere going to do it. Wouldn't be fair to my work. Really, that is what my head is saying. I hate hurting others or letting people down. Someday I will share with you folks the struggle I had to go through to get licensed in Missouri and Kansas because of my mental illness. But I remember telling my attorney once that if I was going to kill myself, I wouldn't hurt any clients in the process -- I would put my affairs in order. Well, now that I am a practicing attorney, that will probably always keep me safe -- by the time I got all that done, the meds would probably have fully kicked in and the danger would be past.
>
> But don't worry, right now if I was to do so, it would be more a gesture than anything. And my pdoc put my back on my full dose of lithium and I can tell today that it is starting to kick in. So by the time I see her this week, I'll probably be okay.
>
> I am lucky. I spoke with my pdoc everyday this week -- and my therapist. I'm calling in all the time this weekend. I really have a great treatment team. I get so angry when I read how some of you are treated -- it just isn't right. And I feel guilty -- how did I rate so high?
>
> Thanks for being here. I really am glad I found this place.
>
> Your resident hounddog.


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poster:AMenz thread:9308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/9854.html