Posted by kid_A on August 8, 2001, at 15:57:52
In reply to Another perspective ..., posted by Willow on August 8, 2001, at 14:54:40
> When someone passes on after suffering with cancer etc do you feel the same type of grief?
I'm not writing in the fist person, so for other people it may be different, Im noting this after I wrote the below, just to say that my point of view may not be everyones...
The grief of the illness itslef, the way that it radiates around the victim and effects everyone slowly gradually numbing you to the inevitable truth, you start with worry, then hope, then trying to cope, acceptance comes then of course death...
my mother's illness was more than she could handle, and i dont know if she could have had a better attitude throughout it all, she was brave, and to me, a hero... to suffer and to survive for as long as she did... i think of that as heroic, to me at least, it is...
By the time you reach the death stage you are so relived that the suffering has ended that the grief can be transitory, almost spike like... I really wasn't hit w/ the sadness of my own mothers death until later, (i was 18 at the time of her passing)... It leaves your emotions completely skewed and later I think you are left with just the emptiness that you know exists because someone you loved dearly is gone... the rage of intense grief that occurs when say someone is killed in a sudden accident doesnt seem to present itself... you grow accustomed to the idea of death, you begin to realise that the person you love may, or perhaps, will die...
im crying a bit now, i cant belive this, its sad to me still, 12 years past, but i guess there is no sell by date on grief...
k_A
poster:kid_A
thread:8808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/8977.html