Posted by sar on July 16, 2001, at 14:57:03
In reply to Re: headache » sar, posted by AKC on July 12, 2001, at 10:13:56
Hi Everyone.
after i wrote that post i drank some more and then my parents found me hanging myself and called the cops, who yanked me out to an ambulance and drove me to the hospital.
i just got out today. what do you think i did? bought some vodka, but i've been in the loony bin nearly a week, i believe a stiff drink will do me good.
i feel embarrassed that i had wrote that message, it's just that i was wondering if anyone had lost themselves that much...as far as i know, my Main diagnosis is Major Depression...then when drunk i forget who's who...and according to the folks i hung out with on the ward, that's pretty common (among us who know!).
the docs say i have an "impulse control problem." do you think that means i'm just a twenty-something drunk? :) they say that perhaps this is a sign of bipolarity. i don't know--hell, i wish i'd get manic, but i don't think that i do. they prescribed depakote to help even out these impulses.
so as soon as my 'script kicks in, PSB will lose a bit of the Days-of-Our-Lives quality. all apologies to those who care!
thank you all so much for your concern, i really appreciate it. even as i wrote that message i thought that it was inappropriate and that no one would respond...i'm giggling right now...is STUPIDITY in the DSM IV-TR?
perhaps i do create drama. or i just go with my "impulsivity." i believe depression can breed a great degree of nihilism--so *what* if i break this, steal this, have sex with this person? it'll all be gone some time soon.
they took me to a more serious loony bin this time. lots of "group sessions" etc, made me stay nearly a week, yo. the best thing is always the people. the other patients. the other crazies. we bonded. the only place i'm ever the popular girl is the crazyhouse--shall i move in? :) :(
i don't want to go back. ShelliR, don't worry about lectures. Lecture me as a wiser elder! Roo, I'd pass you a Camel Special Light if you were here and get you to sing with me. AKC--thanks for your concern, I'm a reassurance fiend! And Kid_A--oh my, you've been there and done that kid, i'm small potatoes in comparison...i hope you're doing well right now and being careful...kazoo...yass, yass, that's so true, but why do I always imagine your lips puckered around a sour pickle?
thanks all so much. i feel better now, social worker is helping me to get meds/treatment on sliding-scale basis. parents/friends-who-know supportive. employer co-operating.
i will repeat this to anyone curious about hospitals: the best thing about them is the other patients. the vulnerable honesty--not heartwrenching and sobby, but comedic and wry. Honest. the other patients Know more than the staff. all walks of life and we were all great friends for a week. beautiful people.
i kept thinking of us as the "group that tried to kill themselves in this part of town in these few days in july" and wondered if we'd been drawn together for a special reason...but who cares?
it was all so accurately random anyway.
thanks again.
love,
sar
poster:sar
thread:7299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7516.html