Posted by susan C on July 15, 2001, at 20:13:39
What do you say to yourself? What do you do first? I have been on the same dose of depakote for 5 months now with some mood stablizing help (began 8 months ago).
But have been going upp for last month, last Sunday was so depressed, couldn't see straight... brother was telling me how to live, should leave husb. he was making me crazy, stress of his opinions...then was sort of ok, then yesterday I started banging and bashing and dropping things as I furiously started to clean the 'junk' on the deck.
Husband came out and said, when you are like this I get worried, go take a long walk. I did, I kept walking, I got lost, I didn't want to come home, I was one of those people muttering as they walk and gestering with their hands and sobbing...and I wasn't on a cell phone. It was a good thing I was on country roads with only cars passing by.
The only reason I came home is my feet hurt. I kept hoping in one small part of me, that if I kept walking long enough, I would feel better. Five hours of walking. It was several hours after I got home, after I bit my husbands head off, leave me alone, I don't want to 'tell anyone how I feel' and my son came and told me a joke and rubbed my shoulders and told me if they hurt I should soak my feet in epsons salts. Out of the mouth of babes. Which I did. And my feet felt better, and then, slowly, I felt better.
And I held my husbands hand and appreciated all the work he had been doing all day to put a new fan in the bathroom. What do you hold on to when you are at your worst?
poster:susan C
thread:7485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7485.html