Posted by Marie1 on July 3, 2001, at 8:05:07
In reply to Love, early bonding, attachment, depression, posted by JennyR on July 1, 2001, at 11:51:08
Jenny,
I've been doing a lot of thinking along these lines recently. I don't feel "attached" on a day to day basis with anyone, except my kids. People who have been my friends since childhood don't even seem to matter to me. As for my husband, I basically just tolerate him. Sounds awful, huh? Like, what kind of human am I? I've told my shrink I don't feel "connected" like I think other people do.
Then, just last week, my older brother died. We were the oldest two out of seven. You can't imagine (well, maybe you can) the severity of pain I still feel for this loss. And the weird thing is, I haven't really LIKED this brother since we've been adults. We are poles apart politically, and he really used to annoy me with his very right wing thoughts and attitudes. I wouldn't cross the street to visit him if I were in town. But I've realized that I have (had) this incredibly tight bond with him stemming from our childhood that totally transcends politics or whatever. He's the only one with whom I share certain memories; in a way, he validates my life. Too bad I didn't figure this out til he's gone. And I think he would have felt the same way if I had died first.
So this leads me to believe that the emotions are there, on some level, but the depression blunts or masks it. I don't know. This is actually too painful to think about too much right now. And now my daughter's cat went AWOL, and I'm mourning her (the cat) way more than I thought I would! Life sucks, and then you die....Marie
poster:Marie1
thread:6971
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010628/msgs/7021.html