Posted by Shar on June 17, 2001, at 12:04:24
In reply to My crazy brothers send me these..sorry., posted by Phil on June 17, 2001, at 9:10:21
Phil -
Had I known that your brothers were crazy too, I would have been much nicer to you!! Didn't know it ran in the family....you just didn't have a chance, did ya?Good funnies.
Shar
> These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
> actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
>
> (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached
> rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
> (2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of
> morbid curiosity."
> (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
> (4) "This employee is really not so much of a
> 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
> (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and
> cornered like a rat in a trap."
> (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only
> to change feet."
> (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot
> puddle."
> (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
> (9) "He sets low personal standards and then
> consistently fails to achieve them."
> (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of
> an idiot."
> (11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner
> he starts, the better."
> (12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to
> hold it all together."
> (13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an
> ordinary ignoramus."
> (14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his
> pointless."
> (15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
> (16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
> (17) "He's been working with glue too much."
> (18) "He would argue with a signpost."
> (19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
> (20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
> room."
> (21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
> (22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
> ... he's the other one."
> (23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
> glued on."
> (24) "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
> (25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done
> using it."
> (26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
> train isn't coming."
> (27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out
> looking for it."
> (28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
> watered twice a week."
> (29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
> get change."
> (30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
> oceans."
> (31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other
> sperm to the egg."
> (32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
> (33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;.....he
> only gargled."
> (34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
> (35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
poster:Shar
thread:6491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6498.html