Posted by kiddo on June 16, 2001, at 23:52:42
In reply to Re: the subject is you, posted by mila on June 16, 2001, at 9:19:11
> Dear Kiddo,
>
> I felt sorrow when I was reading your post.
>
> please, do not fight a losing battle. you seem to battle the idea that you are a mental patient. you do not accept it, you push it away from you. That is why it feels so scary to be admitted to the psych. ward. this will nail you as a mental patient for sure.
>Fighting a losing battle (in this case) I meant that it feels like I take two steps back for every one forward. I had made a lot of progress and then in March it went to hell in a handbasket. It seems like I've been struggling since then to keep my head above water.
I couldn't tolerate the psych ward again because my loss of freedom, checking on me every 15 minutes, being holed up...I guess otherwise it wasn't that bad.... sorry.. that's why I hate posting, I never seem to make myself clear.
> the way out of your predicament is through it. you go through admitting you are in the hands of the disease, and then you leave it behind. rejecting, or denying it won't do much good. Maybe it will be easier for you to PRETEND that you are VERY ill, worst than you are in reality? this might help a bit.
>
> I fully believe that you will fully recover, once you admit that you are sick. It is like a flu. you have to collapse, stop active living for a while, and lie still, and the thing will pass. Say yes to yourself, kiddo.
>
> when I was fighting the losing battle what kept me going was the foolish belief that I am very strong and smart, and can certainly do it on my own. Also, my ignorance about the nature of the disease, and awareness of just how mediocre or bad specialists in mental health field can be kept me on my own. In reality, it didn't even take a mental health professional to cure me. It was surrender that was crucial for the recovery.
>I truly admire your strength, it's something I've longed for all of my life. I will try to remember the things you've said, and fit them in.
> what does 'basket case' mean when applied to a person? I do not understand. Are you diminishing the importance of your condition? or are you aggrandizing it into the 'incurable' status?
I'm just a country girl and 'basket case' just meant 'losing it' without grace :-) I never considered my illness to be important, to me it's just there...
>
> please, keep posting. you are wonderful.
Thank you,,, you are too kind but I'll take it :-)
>
> love
> mila
Kiddo
poster:kiddo
thread:6464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6481.html