Posted by Noa on February 14, 2001, at 11:59:17
In reply to Re: Sante... » willow, posted by dj on February 14, 2001, at 9:03:19
I was in two groups. The first, for about 4 years. It was hard work, but helpful. I started right after being in the hospital, and the timing was great because it was a group just starting up at that time. Eventually, it disbanded when the therapist left the agency.
The second group was the group from hell! I was in it about 1 year. When I joined, it had been going 6 months, and had already had about 75% turn over. During the year I was in it, everyone who was in when I joined left precipitously, and some of the new people who joined also left precipitously. I thought about leaving a lot, but kept hanging in there because I didn't want to "flee" (the therapists framed it as a cop out, and this was one of my issues--feeling like I don't finish things I start--so I felt ashamed of wanting to leave, even though being in the group produced a lot of shame in me, too). But eventually, I did flee--I, too, ended up leaving without saying goodbye, just like everyone else who just disappeared, even though I was determined not to do that. When I finally decided to leave, I think it was a good decision--a decision to get myself out of something that was hurting me, not helping me.
That group was awful. The therapists were cold and harsh. Their style was a misguided following of some textbook approach. They interpreted EVERYTHING anyone said about what was happening in the room as transference, so we always felt invalidated. There was so much shame in the room all the time. It was a terribly harsh environment. No one left because they got better. We all left because we couldn't take it anymore.
I was in three other groups that weren't exactly therapy groups--they were kind of between a guided support group and a therapy group, focus on issues of eating and body image. These were wonderful and very helpful. It was in these groups that I learned the concept of setting teeny tiny goals, making the goals achievable, and building on ones' success.
The bad therapy group experience I had has made me wary of going into group therapy again. I know not all groups are like that but I am still reluctant. In the meantime, my individual therapy is pretty intensive (2x per week), so it is about all I can fit in financially and timewise, too.
poster:Noa
thread:4602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010209/msgs/4661.html