Posted by Todd on January 16, 2001, at 23:08:39
In reply to Rough time, posted by musicman on January 16, 2001, at 17:20:55
Hello, Musicman. I can understand how you feel. I've been through similar circumstances. About 10 years ago, I lost my job, my girlfriend, and a roommate all in the space of a week and a half. Sat there in my room after the roommate ordeal and thought to myself, wow, most people would be really losing it by now. And I was tempted to lose it myself too. But I thought to myself, hell, how much worse can things get? Damned if I am going to let these things ruin me. I'm better than that. It wasn't too long before I found a new job (a quite menial one at that) and found a new roommate. Never did recoup the girlfriend losses, but hey, two out of three aint bad.
I know about the negative thoughts, Musicman. They are very insidious. Just creep right in there and whittle you down. It sucks even more when you think you have vanquished them. Time to replace the "I'm not good enoughs" and the "I sucks" with "I AM good enoughs" and "I am a beautiful souls." As much as you possibly can. I also know about the friends and family members who tell you to let it die. What kind of idiot do they think I am anyway? Kind of helps to discover just what it is you're supposed to let go of before you let it go, isn't it? Don't listen to them, Musicman. If those particular people can't understand your situation and can't give you positive love and support while you grow and heal, then they aren't worth divulging info to. They may love you in some way, but not the way you need to be loved right now. Talk to people who understand you and can support you. Above all, feel NO guilt. Guilt is a four letter word, and an absolutely useless one at that. You need to do what's best for YOU, because that's also best for everyone around you.
I also know about the therapy. As far as I am concerned, life is therapy. I may not always be sitting in front of a therapist, but I am learning and growing all the time. Sometimes the growing hurts, and I'll talk to a therapist. But the real therapy unfolds every day. Don't be so certain you won't learn something new this time around. Sample a few therapists, settle on one that you feel comfortable with; someone who makes you feel energized when you are in their presence. If your gut says OH, geez, here's another idiot, listen to it! Your gut is ALWAYS right. Learn to listen to it and trust it without guilt. You'll find the right person to guide you if you need it. And of course, you always have us. Peace and love.
poster:Todd
thread:3994
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010105/msgs/4010.html