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Re: HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts

Posted by phillybob on January 12, 2001, at 16:11:06

In reply to HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts, posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 12:16:20

Hi, Dona! I can relate! Well, sort of, in the sense, that I'm the fiance that is driving my significant other (she's an OB/GYN resident) nuts in my recent bout of unemployment. :)

Anyway, I've only worked steadily for about 7 years, but I had consciously taken the past four (!) months off (well, I've started to look the last one)! She has, actually, more or less, been fairly patient, as money has not been a hugely pressing issue, it tends to be more of a psychological one.

My point for taking time off was introspection ... really just some time to stop and think ... get off the treadmill for a while and examine what and why I've been doing and do some stuff I've wanted to do including laze around.

Your husband, having worked 23 years (!, a lifetime, practically, to me) I would think could stand a little bit of time off (if financially feasible, even if with unemployment assistance and some changes). Life is long and a few months of time inserted here or there, even if only squandered at home, watching tv on the couch, might ultimately, allow him to have re-charged his batteries and/or re-direct his life in positive ways. Professors take sabbaticals all of the time. In many non-U.S. countries, vacations, I believe, tend to be a bit more extended than a traditional two week period.

There really is not much sense in worrying about his age and him not being able to procure decent work because of it, when he is finally ready to begin again. What will happen, will happen. I am sure you will both work and create with that (employment, disability, unemployment, retirement incomes, etc. coupled with changing of spending habits).

As far as your work is concerned, try to stay positive. Please, though, do pay careful attention (not though over/hypochondriatic :) attention) to your knee and do NOT overdo it! That is the type of setback you definitely want to steer clear of. You are an R.N., so use your professional wisdom there! Pick a buddy R.N. or something. :) Also, as far as commuting, can you carpool with someone to save the legwork?

I'm just a youngin' and wet behind the ears in these relationship thingies, but I think you should focus on being as positive about yourself and being the best person you can be. Encourage your husband respectfully, forcefully, but don't demand and expect ... do that only of yourself. You can be accountable to yourself.

Eh ... I'm done ... Y'can all shoot me now. :)


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