Posted by shyguy on January 9, 2001, at 0:20:13
In reply to Re: sexual/social shyness, posted by dennis on January 8, 2001, at 18:14:54
> Let me ask you a few questions,
>
> Do you have at least two of the following:
> a.inability to interact with peers
> b.lack of desire to interact with peers
> c.lack of appreciation of social cues
> d.socially and emotionaly inappropriate behavior
>
> Do you have one of the following:
> a.exclusion of other activites
> b.repetitive adherence
> c.more rote than meaning
> d.repetitive routines
>
> Do you have any of the following:
> a.superficially perfect expressive language
> b.formal pedantic language
> c.odd prosody, peculiar voice characteristics
> d.impairment of comprehension including misinterpretations of literal/implied meanings
>
> Do you have any of the following:
> a.limited use of gestures
> b.clumsy/gauche body language
> c.limited facial expression
> d.inappropriate expression
> e.peculiar stiff gaze
>
> Do you:
> a.have no close friends
> b.avoid others
> c.no interest in making friends
> d.a loner
> e.approach others only to have own needs met
>
> any of these sound like you:
> a.gestures are large and clumsy
> b.does not use hands to express oneself
> c.difficulty sensing feelings of others
> d.there is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior(other than in social interaction)REPLY:
I do lack the desire and do not feel a need to interact with my peers beyond what is required at work to get the job done. I am very much a "team player", however, and always put the needs of the company ahead of my own.
I lack an appreciation of social cues because I was never taught them nor learned them through social experiences (chicken & egg syndrome).
I have been known to exhibit socially inappropriate behaviour, again through ignorance of what is expected in a given situation. Once corrected by someone with more experience in these matters, I do not repeat the inappropriate action(s).
"Exclusion of other activities" - I'm not sure what this refers to, but if it means anything beyond work, eating, sleeping and basic household chores, yes, they are excluded. I enjoy my work, often stretching my 7.5-hour-shifts into 14-hours (probably a workaholic). I enjoy 'hibernating' on days off and have no problem sleeping continuously for 18-hours at a time. I also enjoy watching movies/satellite programs in my home theatre for leisure on days off.
I have no friends, close or otherwise, though I do make an effort to be 'friendly' with everyone I make contact with (usually while working).
I don't go out of my way to avoid others, however I don't make a special effort to meet new people either.
I guess it's true I have no interest in making friends. If I was interested, it would seem to follow that I probably would. I can't think of a specific reason NOT to have friends.
I think it is fair to say I am a loner, yet I don't feel 'lonely' -- whatever that is. I am very content by myself. A big part of this is not having to accomodate the needs of anyone else (probably very selfish) . Another way to look at it is 'freedom from responsibility'.
I do approach others, without apprehension, when it is necessary to attain something I need. This is especially true when I am working.
I have extreme difficulty sensing or appreciating the feelings of others because I don't experience feelings myself. If I did, I believe I would empathise more with others. I have requested sensititivity training from ny employer to try and correct this.
poster:shyguy
thread:3776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010105/msgs/3800.html