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Re: Fear of passing mental illness gene to kids

Posted by Ted on December 7, 2000, at 14:28:17

In reply to Fear of passing mental illness gene to kids, posted by PhoenixGirl on December 7, 2000, at 13:23:44

Hi PhoenixGirl,

When I was younger (I'm 39), I knew I had depression and probably bipolar disorder. Now I am officially diagnosed with BP-II. I, too, felt it would be terrible to have kids who had similar problems. (my sister & father probably have BP-II, and my mother, father, sister, and I all have OCD to some extent; runs in my father's family).

Well, once my wife was pregnant, it was no longer my choice or control. Our son seems happy and healthy. Time will tell. There is a lot of mental illness in my wife's family too (depression & OCD).

Remember: There is another component which might be as big a factor: environment. Even if you had a child who was genetically healthy, just being around you and your family might cause depression. This is completely beyond your control. Perhaps the alcoholism was due to the suicide, and the suicide was due to problems from parental depression that arose from..... -- it might just be feeding on itself and have little genetic basis at all.

One other point: I feel there is no other person better suited to care for a mentally ill child that a parent with similar experience. You *will* understand your child's depression and will be able to help from an early age, and you can share your experiences. That alone is FAR better than I had in my repressive family.

Don't worry so much! Find the best partner you can, and go for it.

Ted



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