Posted by ksvt on October 15, 2000, at 15:36:21
In reply to Re: Who Am I?, posted by cs on October 15, 2000, at 11:29:57
> Carol ANne, When I had my first severe depession 5 years ago, the depressed person was not me! Once I started feeling the effects of the anti-depressants the real me came back. When in the depression I felt like "I had died", and it was like mourning your own death. I believe that anti-depressants don't change you but help you be yourself. CS
My therapist frequently tries to get me to compare myself pre-depression and post-depression. I can remember times when I was significantly more non-functioning than I am now, but I can't remember what it felt like to be depression free. I think this is because regardless of whether or not I was clinically depressed, I was certainly dealing with the same set of insecurities and self esteem issues that I am now. I'm not sure what a CNP is. I fantasize about being a different person from the one I am now, but even my fantasy of a depression free life involves a woman who struggles with mood swings. Maybe I've just become more realistic (and hopefully eventually less perfectionist). How do you reconcile what we go through with the fact that many people probably think many of us are CNPs? I know better, but I work very hard to mask my depressive periods, and I think I do a decent job at it. My life as a depressed person is a very internalized one. I'd love to hear from others for whom this is also true. ksvt
poster:ksvt
thread:990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1087.html