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revelations - to Nibor

Posted by cmm on October 5, 2000, at 0:12:19

Hi Nibor,

I'm almost embarassed to say this, but I had a little revelation when reading a message you wrote to Jena Lyn. You said something about how believing that the good things which happen are flukes and the bad things are deserved is a part of the disease (which I assume here to be depression) - pathetic, I know, but it never occurred to me to make the connection. I've thought that depression, if in fact I do have it and am not just a sorry little wimp with poor emotional control, was only evident in the fact that I cry easily etc etc.

My mother and some friends have told me I'm too critical of myself, which I'll accept to a certain degree, but I've always thought I'm just a very lucky person to have had the good things I've had.

So I'm three weeks into an anti-depressant, and now you've given me something new to look forward to when (hopefully) the sucker kicks in - thanks. You did more for me unknowingly that my last therapist did in months.


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