Posted by LJRen on December 12, 2006, at 23:50:40
In reply to Thread for people with no relationships for life?, posted by Reggie BoStar on December 10, 2006, at 18:28:28
Well Reggie, I can't say that I've chosen the road to go it alone. Thus far, it's kinda chosen me. I've been single for 12 years since I graduated college. I've dated a little here & there, but have never had the opportunity for a serious relationship to develop. For whatever reason, I am always left before that could happen.
But a couple of years ago an ex re-entered my life out of the blue. We didn't get back together but he proved himself to be a true friend (driving out of state to help me move, to do a brake job on my vehicle, etc). Needless to say, I fell again despite his admitted lack of love for me. And yes, my determination to salvage this relationship has been beyond belief. However, recently I guess he has gone through some personal crisis or something and in the process has virutally cut me out of his life. And he did this just after I moved w/n an hour's drive of him. Between his disappearance, and a few other very stressful events after my move, I crashed hard. Despression is a bitch, needless to say. I've somewhat recoved from the other events but things haven't changed between us and it's practically killing me. Plus I just learned he's been seeing or at least hanging out with other women in his area. So currently, I'm cursing the Gods for bringing him back into my life. Before 2 years ago he wasn't a part of it at all & couldn't hurt me one bit. Now he's breaking my heart more than he ever has. If I could rewrite history and take back the steps that led us to reunite 2 years ago, I would.
So now, after suffering yet another traumatic broken heart, I have absolutely no desire to even attempt to find someone else. A person can only take so much pain in one life time and at 36 I've already had more than my fair share. Loneliness is pretty crappy, but it doesn't compare to the depth of misery I'm experiencing right now. So, I'm done. I'm not giving anyone else the chance to hurt me again.
That's my 2 cents.
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:712251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/713123.html