Posted by Joan797 on April 11, 2006, at 8:58:17
In reply to when hubby wakes and wants a divorce out of blue, posted by trucker on April 6, 2006, at 18:24:37
Sometimes it's easier to just quite cold turkey. I find myself that way. Sometimes talking about things, and discussing the were's and why's is too hard and we as humans tend to take the easy road and just say "I'm done" and nothing else. That way we somehow think that it is easier for both, but actually it's only easier for us.
I know this may sound harsh and cruel, but it sounds like there is more going on here, way more. You may not know what it is, but it's way more than he's telling you obviously. Could be another woman, could be he's tired or afraid of something about you. Your mental status or appearance. I'm afraid I'm going to start bashing him because he is a man, but here goes. Men, some men, have this mental image of what a woman is supposed to look like, and be like, and yadda yadda yadda.......and eventually they start resenting their wives and girlfriends for not living up to that image. I don't know, I think women do that to some.
My situation is so different, it's hard to relate. I often fantasize about my husband asking me for a divorce so I can begin living. But it isn't going to happen. There has come a point where nothing about him appeals to me, and I'm not talking about looks, but after 20 years, he disgusts me in so many ways. Slobery, unkeptness, the way he clears his throat constantly, the way he eats and gets food on his mustach (there used to be a beard that was way grosser)..........etc etc.......things that were tolerated in the beginning are grating on my nerves. I have lost respect. And then of course I have gotten fat again, and I don't feel attractive and the fact that he still wants to have sex with me makes me want to gag. I wouldn't want to have sex with me, why does he??
No romantic weekend for two is going to cure my situation I'm afraid.
Okay, having said that, I am in no way suggesting that you have become a fat unkept slob who is unworthy of your husband. I'm giving you my scenario. It really seems like there is more to the story though.
I am sorry that this has hit you out of the blue, I realize you are hurt by this. I guess really, I am jealous of your ability to start a new life without a man.
Okay, that was no help.
Perhaps you should go to social and read my post on body butter. Body butter can cure all, if only temporarily.
Joan
poster:Joan797
thread:629794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060220/msgs/631717.html