Posted by Racer on March 17, 2006, at 20:43:58 [reposted on March 20, 2006, at 1:05:56 | original URL]
In reply to What do when you are hopeless, posted by rjlockhart on March 17, 2006, at 19:53:40
Matt, have you ever tried CBT techniques to help you control this sort of thing? You've posted a lot here over time with a similar sort of urgency and despair. It really sounds as though you could benefit from something that helps you control the thinking that leads down into this frantic upset.
Or maybe check out some of the DBT resources online, see if you can get some good out of the handouts on Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness. (That last might help you deal with your mother.) It's better if you can find a good therapist to work with, but if you don't have that right now, then this would be the next best thing.
And Matt? The other thing that you could do, which would help you a lot, is to make an appointment to see your doctor, alone; not tell your mother about that appointment; and then go to the appointment. Alone. And see your doctor. Alone. And ask him for his input, about medications that might help you, and about other treatments, like psychotherapy, and for a referral.
I really am sorry when I hear that frantic note in your posts. I wish you didn't feel this anxious. But you're certainly not hopeless. And you're not helpless. You can make a few choices that could improve your situation, and there is a wide grey zone between your current situation and what you say about "getting out of here/making something of yourself/etc." How about, while you're still there, changing the way you react to your mother? Changing the way you interact with your mother? You can't change her, but if you change your own behavior, it will change the dynamic between you. (I promise it will, Matt. Remember, I have a mother, too. {rolls eyes})
poster:Racer
thread:622344
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060220/msgs/622345.html