Posted by sleepygirl on June 13, 2005, at 22:48:34
Yes, I'm afraid I lost it, "it"-that thing that keeps you from throwing deodorant and other miscellaneous items across the room, took a break, just long enough for me to use the "f" word several times in a long string of sentences.
You see I was angry about work. You know the old-they forget I exist, but expect too much deal, which I'm afraid is OH SO FAMILIAR. Let's hear it for recreating the dysfunctional family environment wherever I may go.
Well for whatever that's worth I tried to explain my feelings about it, right or wrong, whatever. I'm ultra-sensitive about it so I very carefully and patiently try to EXPLAIN my feelings. There he sits with a look of disgust, pointing out to me how absolutely irrational I am, and again, YES AGAIN, how ridiculous my feelings are.
With that I said "F*ck you! This is why I never talk to you! You're so f*cking dismissive, and I'm so f*cking sick of it! etc." Well I never do get any sort of feedback from him except for the 'you're a weird disgusting alien variety'-so I threw it dammit! The old spice, the papers, the pens whatever small items I could, not AT him mind you. So we're not talking, and I will not be the one to "fix" this, apologize, or anything. I'm too freaking hurt, because he NEVER tries to understand me. I live a whole emotional life apart. I hate him right now. I want to throw lots and lots of things, actually at him. I want to play dodgeball against him, and hit him over and over and over and over.
poster:sleepygirl
thread:512354
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/512354.html