Posted by alexandra_k on November 30, 2004, at 3:42:43
In reply to My marriage isn't in jeopardy, posted by Dinah on November 29, 2004, at 20:43:35
(((((Dinah))))) Your post reminded me of my experience. From the perspective of a child whose parents don't much care for each other anymore. I realise that it is not exactly like what is going on for you, but my parents started not getting on when my Mother was pregnant with me and they mutually agreed to stay together until I turned 16. My Father walked when I was 7. I didn't see much of him, but then my parents were never particularly attached to me. But what I remember the most was how hard it was for me when I knew that my parents didn't particularly get on.
I say this because I am not so sure that you are doing your son any favours by staying in a relationship for his sake.
Now what I am saying is coloured oh so very much from my experiences so you really can feel free to tell me to take a hike, or tell me I have misunderstood or whatever.
But if it is the case that you and your husband would be happier without each other then you will both be better parents to your son because of it.
To a certain extend quality of interaction is more important with quantity (in the sense of being part time parents). And that leaves both you and your husband free to meet somebody else and be happier in a relationship. A relationship that meets more of your needs and desires.
Of course divorce is messy messy hard.
But then it sounds like the present situation is hard also, and that you are putting on the happy face in much the same way your son is.
You do it for his benefit
And maybe he has learned to do it for yours.
Not because you expect it, but because children learn by modelling and imitation.I am sorry if this is hard. I am so sorry that you are hurting. (((((Dinah)))))
poster:alexandra_k
thread:422032
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041118/msgs/422193.html