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Re: Floodgate SLS

Posted by J Kelly on March 21, 2016, at 9:44:51

In reply to Re: Floodgate J Kelly, posted by SLS on March 20, 2016, at 21:38:47

> To accept the unacceptable takes enormous courage and resolution in order to continue moving forward. For me, it was not an easy process. I cried often. I cried for what was stolen from me. I cried for what I never was. I cried for what never would be. Great loss.

I'm so sorry. The loss is the hardest part. You always seem the picture of strength to me and it breaks my heart to hear this. But selfishly when I come here I feel less alone. Maybe that's true for you as well.

> Perhaps it would help to make a gratitude list. For some reason, I find it very helpful. Despite your losses, I am sure you can find things to be grateful for. Not everyone has a roof over their head or food in their belly. I know that this sounds trite, but it's true.

> There are times when you will want to piss on your gratitude list.

This made me laugh out loud. We still have a sense of humor so I guess that's something :)

>All you will focus on is the undeserved pain and frustration. You will recognize that you want what everyone else has. Unfortunately, you are the one who has been chosen to suffer in silence. That is hard to accept. I have come to accept that I am ill, but I do not accept the illness. I have not resigned.

I feel like I will never accept it. I'm not sure that's healthy. I want my life back.

> You are strong, Jade. That's my opinion, anyway.

Thank you for that. Sometimes I think so and sometimes I just want to disappear.

> You are also precocious. You want to know everything. Maybe you need a brief vacation from your illness and the deluge of information that you must process. You must be exhausted.

You're probably right. I get worked up thinking if I go after this illness with everything I have I'll be able to "fix" it. I'll try to slow down.

Thank you for your understanding, advice, and concern. It helps. And it helps that I am not alone.





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