Posted by happyflower123 on May 11, 2015, at 17:58:33
I'm still looking for a new T in my new city after having a really great one for almost 7 years. I started to see this really experienced T for trauma therapy and EMDR. I really liked her, trusted her but after 4 months I noticed she started to forget things I said in therapy several times and even forgot one my my appointments. I was ready to overlook those things, as I have had trouble finding a new T and I did like her.
Well a couple of weeks ago, she was doing a history on me to prepare for EMDR work. She started with implicit memories, and I warned her those are really hard for me. Well I started to talk about one major trauma and it led to more memories being surfaced of other suppressed traumas. I was overwhelmed and was flooding. She knew I had quite the trauma past and even my old T wrote a letter telling her I needed grounding after EMDR. Well this new T totally froze up when I talked of my traumas. She kept saying she didn't know what to do, and asked me what Therapist X did. I told her, but she did absolutely nothing and kept saying she didn't know me well enough. It has been a LONG time since I have felt all alone, didn't think it would ever happen during a therapy session.
She kept asking me if I was alright and I said no. But wanted to leave because sitting there with her staring at me was not feeling too good. She didn't know what to do with me. I really missed my old T at that point, I never had to tell her what I needed, she knew. I never have had a T do NOTHING to help. There is a ton of things- breathing exercises, grounding exercises, containment, tapping, etc.
I rushed out of the room and grounded myself in my car before I could drive. I terminated her a few days later. With the past problems of the past few months and leaving me all alone during a session with not knowing what to do, I gave up on her.Now I am trying not to give up on finding a new T, I have a few appointments scheduled to interview a few more. But now I'm scared of saying much of anything. I have already had one extremely unethical therapist 10 years ago, how do I learn to trust again after this latest incident? If I didn't feel my depression increasing due to stress, I would just leave therapy for a few months. But I don't think that is a good idea right now with so much current stress going on. sigh
poster:happyflower123
thread:1078887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1078887.html