Posted by rjlockhart37 on November 11, 2014, at 23:44:48
i've heard alot of people told me "your being paranoid" when it's reasomable cause.....the thing is tonight before i go to bed, i had major stages of paranoia, i got diagnosed with some schizop for a while and was put on geodon and zyprexa at incridbly high doses, and it made just .... when you on high antipsychotics they kinda make you not really care about things, you don't notice people talking or gossiping behind your back, but when i start to not take it's like all the sensors in the brain turn on to full capacity.....
one time, i was at a mental health clinic, and i don't know why but i thought the psychiatrist was part of plan to drug me up and make me not think, and i was living here at home, everytime i would leave the house, the same cars, red dodge truck, a volvo station wagon, and some ford cars would follow me, and it got to the point where i would into best buy, or the convient store to get something, and they would get out of the car, and stand in the isle with me acting like ... they where just browsing whatever store supplies whereever on that isle, and followed me all over, i started playing stupid, and looking at things i didnt plan on getting, and drive and pull over and sit there until their left.... because i thought they where recording every move i was doing..... and to point where it was a community watch, and then worse couple months later, i would drive and would harrass me on the roads, tailgate, change lanes without signiling, it really got to a point where i knew someone was planning to either throw me in jail, or community harrasment, which is real term for people who secretly plan to harass to get someone to move out of town......basically, in simple terms, it's like high school where they push you around and start gossip and plan secret plots....
some of it i can see is a disorder, i was at christain drug rehab, and they gossiped like crazy in the group therapy session, i started thinking it wasnt a christain rehab....had all these crazy paranoid ideas it was an insidious group planning evil ideas......so on....
but their's a point when paranoia is natural, and should be used, aka when people are gossiping, they have you on recorder in a therapy session, easedropping and pretend acting busy near to over hear information.... or on the phone, to whatever motive there is why, and then there's conspiracies which are a higher level of gossip and secret planning.....
but the thing i noticed, just to make sure not to be paranoid, is to just notice what's going on around you.....alertness, paranoia is when you know something is up, but it could be true, or false.....
i'm still dealing with paranoia, still.....it's a highnted awareness.....i've gotten alot of diagnosis, ADHD, schizo, anxiety, i started getting paranoid about things, thinking someone is watching my everymove and planning a move after that.....it's just crazy.....i wanna live peacefully and not under fear.....
rant rant rant......have no idea why i wrote this.....
logging out
r
not a scholar but understand distress.....
"unheard pain, is the told through good company"
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1073387
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1073387.html