Posted by DarkTiger on August 14, 2013, at 4:40:48
I last thursday had a problem with my PCF's Office manager and she to be a total [#$@!@] didn't get my meds reauthorized. I had taken my last dose at 2Am before work the previous day because the practice is strict about the rescript not being written till the day your out. She knew that it has to be reauthorized due to cost every month, and doodled around until the insurance company's authorization office was closed so no meds thursday. Friday the Office was closed but at 2:30 pm The office manager tried to reauthorize the meds, I guess she felt she had made her point. SURPRISE! the insurance company that the drugstore trying to run the meds 10+ times ona re-fill day was suspicious and wanted paperwork from the DR. This caught her off guard and so she spent another hour and a half figuring her way out of the mess she created, since the Dr. was gone for the weekend. She finally around 5:30 called the Drugstore and had them wipe me out of there computer and gave them starter codes for a free first script for all my meds.[The druggist was not happy but did it because I was already showing signs of trouble] I got the meds, but that was not the end of the saga; it was just the beginning. I normally take 40 Mg a day with Saphoros, Nuvigil 250 Mg & Klonopin 1 Mg twice Daily. I went home although I did not feel well at all, and proceeded to resume my regular dosing. By midnight I was sweating and my hand were trembling; within 30 minutes of that I was experiencing Mood shifts and the Snapshot effect.[When still images take over your vision and you loose your sense of time and your perceive the image lasting much longer than the time that passes around you] My mood spiraled downward and the headache started. I get Migraines and this made them seem like minor discomfort. The Imagery got darker and darker until all I could do was watch it and hear the multiple streams of consciousness talk about the world around me. Everytime my husband tried to snap me out of it I would talk to him, but I guess I didn't make any sense. The Snapshot effect progressed to cover time scratches were I was acting on impulses and was completely unaware of it. I was sitting in my sitting room early saturday morning only a bit after the dose of ViiBryd, which my husband thought would fix everything; since i had went on it almost a year ago and become happy for the first time that he could remember. It caused me to be more active and make life choices that were good for me that included dietary changes that in less than 6 month took me from #210 to #131. A snapshot of my reflection in a vegetable clever in the kitchen utensil rack, had my full attention as I herd two sides of how easy it would be to just cut my thigh and go to sleep discussed.[I'm a bleeder] When Time resumed normal flow I was at the stove with the clever in my hand. There was a moment of shock then I threw it across the room. At that point My husband called a colleague, as we both speak to the 5th years at a regional Medical School. Lillian [The head of Psychiatric Medicine] Was put on the phone with me; I guess I made little since so she got the basic info from my husband. She gave him strict instructions and I was in bed for a long time after that but sleep came and went, filled with vivid nightmares and waking was scrambled by snapshots. The imagery was like watching so indie film made by grad students on crack. Each cycle was darker than the last. I had a prescription for a sleeping pill, and my husband was dosing my at that point with each new dose of medications. That was a mercy I can't even begin to describe as he was also dosing my with the med they gave my to stop night terrors. The rest of the next couple of days was a patchwork of waking and blackness. Today actually feel much better. I can't say I'm as happy as i was before but I lived through a life altering experience. My husband took a signed medical release and gathered all my medical records (they said they could not find two of my charts). I see My Talk therapy doc today and I'm asking him and Lil to help me construct a new care team at their facility, even though it is over an hour and a half away. Talking to the Dr. about it will help me at least start to fully process it. Choose your Dr. wisely and beware of staff that can #$@# up your whole world in a heartbeat. Don't skip this med, I promise this E-Ticket ride is not one you want. I'm still having flashes of it while awake. It will however change you forever. I have drawn a line between work and home; I was a workaholic. I found out how strong my will was and that surprised me. I met my darkside, grinned evilly and wished it a long life imprisoned by my meds. I started to set my self worth using internal measures and metrics; instead of seeking external validation. I reevaluated the People I called Friends and scored the list and saw them each for who they were and chose who I who accept and who I would simple cut away from my life. I have quit worrying and started moving forward, i decided the opinion of other should not change my mind on matters I have made my mind up on. Many people have an entirely new person to get to know because I'm not the passive, placating, people pleaser I was before this. Now if I please you it's because I want to, not because I think I have to in order to survive. I have decided to allow my temper to get out once in a while when someone deserves it. I hope that your experience with this med can bring you you happiness, and that you never have to see the dark side of sudden discontinuance. I do not believe that in a taper you would have this sort of experience. Good Luck and May God Bless.
poster:DarkTiger
thread:1048972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130807/msgs/1048972.html