Posted by paisleygirl on January 25, 2012, at 18:07:33
In reply to Re: How are you doing?, posted by paisleygirl on January 25, 2012, at 15:21:29
i bought a scar cream called scarguard at my local pharmacy.
right now my leg has a huge red word on it "hate".
if my scar doesn't get markedly better by tuesday night i have decided i am going to jump off the top of my bldg.
i think that i am really upset about the scar. i am also really upset about life. i want my scar to get better. but i also feel like then this is in God's hands. if my scar doesn't get better markedly- i dont want to be able to read the word and see the redness- then i will kill myself.
i actually really don't care.
i am just going to make sure someone will take great care of my dog.
if its my fate to live, my scar will heal. if it's my fate to die, i will kill myself.
i feel at ease and comforted by this plan. i just need to get my stuff in order to prepare.
i want to tell people it wasn't their fault, i was hurting too much, and it was my decision, and that i would want everyone to be happy. that i just couldn't figure out how to be happy myself.
i also want to sign out my work stuff to colleagues so that i'm not irresponsible and leave people hanging.
poster:paisleygirl
thread:1007661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1008383.html