Posted by Dinah on October 26, 2011, at 17:25:11
In reply to Re: She's gone » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on October 26, 2011, at 16:47:09
Me too. I think that's one of the ways I'll remember her.
I'd get scared every once in a while when she wasn't eating. But in general even feeding her would be fun. She'd get sick of things, so I'd have to rotate the food. All the things I'd love to eat were what she was supposed to eat. She liked waffles with powdered sugar. But mostly she liked crunchy flavorful things like croutons and potato chips and cheerios and cheese (in the tiny amounts we allowed her) and sandwiches grilled in butter or her dog food baked with garlic powder and parmesan cheese. She never liked to eat large pieces, so I'd cut them up really small then she'd catch them midair. She was *good*. She could catch most anything. Even when she was really sick, she practiced a program of catch and release. If I forgot to give her her prednisone, she'd barely eat anything, but she'd catch it just the same. She taught the other ones to do it, but they don't have her flair and accuracy. Sometimes if I was really busy or late for something, I might be impatient if she was being picky, but mostly it was fun for both of us, I think.
It's felt so weird the last few days when evening came and it was time for her fluids. That was one time that was never fun for any of us. But it's become part of our routine, and it seems odd.
I want to remember her letting the baby chase her in zoomies around the yard, or how she just couldn't hold her barks in when she was approaching the front door, no matter how hard she tried. Even if she'd just been to the front yard. And how happy she was when I praised her for a job well done. And how she attacked my ankles with growls and flashing teeth, and never the teensiest pinch. I want to remember her bounding in the snow. And waking me up in the morning by laying her head on the bed and staring me awake. She was the perfect height for that. And how she and the Maltese had a routine going to break into the bathroom if I was foolish enough to close the door with them on the other side. He'd weasel his little monkey paw into the smallest crack, then she'd nudge it open. He'd run in, but she'd catch my eye indirectly in the mirror until I smiled an invitation. I think I closed it on purpose sometimes, because they'd be so proud of themselves, and it was so nice seeing them work as a well rehearsed team.
And the essential sweetness that perfectly balanced the liveliness. I think I'll remember that most of all. Her sweet sweet expression. Liveliness without sweetness can be overwhelming. Sweetness without liveliness can be cloying. She has always been just right.
I'm doubtful about an afterlife. But if there is one, it wouldn't be heaven if she weren't there, with a few other of my canine family. Here, she won't completely be gone until she's forgotten. I'll never ever forget her.
I look ok, I think. But I'm pretty much MIA. I might not remember what I've just said in five minutes. I've been sleepwalking all day.
poster:Dinah
thread:1000491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1000890.html