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Re: Anyone with social anxiety » sleepygirl2

Posted by wittgensteinz on April 16, 2011, at 13:22:48

In reply to Anyone with social anxiety, posted by sleepygirl2 on April 15, 2011, at 17:50:47

Yes I do and have had for as long as I can remember (age 3 or 4).

I think a big factor was the treatment I received as a child from my mother. She was highly critical and rejecting and seemed to feed off of any feelings I had of insecurity. I didn't receive much warmth or security from my parents growing up. My father is naturally a rather quiet and reserved person and I think I have some of that too. So... an introvert child combined with a highly critical/rejecting mother.

I still experience the same old problems again and again. Maybe I'm a little closer now to accepting that this will always be. I do grin and bear it and just force myself into situations I don't feel at all comfortable with but often that causes such distress I can't keep it up for long. I do seem to habituate if I can keep myself in a situation for long enough (depends a bit on the situation of course).

I still hate busy supermarkets and lecture theatres... oh and telephones (especially when they phone up wanting to sell something). I've stopped doing countless things because I couldn't handle the social interaction and avoidance is still my key coping strategy.

Then again I'm doing relatively well - studying in a second language (I'm the only 'foreigner' taking my program - so if that doesn't make a person feel like an outsider...) - trying to be more proactive in social situations (i.e. not leaving it up to friends always to take the initiative to arrange something). Taking some small well calculated risks now and again. My life is still rather under-peopled. One day I hope to be able to have a birthday party without worrying (a) no-one will turn up and (b) people will be shocked how few friends I have.

I wonder - has CBT helped anyone here with this? I've only ever done psychoanalytic psychotherapy and it's helped lift the depression and I'm managing a lot more in life than previously. I'm not convinced there is a quick/permanent fix for the anxiety. I think in my case it will always be there.

Happily I no longer hide under the table when people ring the doorbell! Those were the days!

 

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