Posted by wittgensteinz on April 12, 2011, at 11:48:17
In reply to Re: Starting to feel anxious and adrift, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2011, at 8:53:01
Hi Dinah,
I've been following your threads as usual. I've gone as far as writing a couple of replies but each time have deleted them as they ended up being more self-serving than helpful (i.e. me expressing my anxiety about your situation than providing support or advice).
While from what I gather things haven't been right for a while in your therapy insofar as you haven't known how to fill the sessions and it's been hard keeping him awake, I always perceived your therapeutic relationship as one that is rock solid - he fits like an old slipper, I recall you once writing. Whenever I read of fall-outs or catastrophic sessions, ruptures and break-ups it makes me uneasy but reading of yours is somehow different - I guess it was just the last thing I imagined and still I hope somehow that I'll come on to babble one day and things will be 'ok' again.
He's gone and stuck his toe right through the metaphorical slipper, so to speak. When words like his are spoken it's hard to retract them and it's hard to know a way around it.
Sometimes I have the impression my therapist is bored with me (he always denies it) - I guess it isn't the job of the client/patient to be an entertainer but it is the job of the therapist to remain awake, present and alert and I'm sorry your therapist let you down so catastrophically that last session.
In the past you wrote about how even the mention of 'termination' was something that evoked much anxiety. I imagine the same goes for a lot of people in long term therapy - but while this whole horrible experience is obviously very difficult you come across as a very strong and in my eyes healthy person.
While one reflects on what may have been lost one must not forget all that has been gained. I hope that your therapist also takes some time to reflect on all that he has gained from having the privilege of accompanying you on your journey. I guess I still hope that this can be resolved somehow - you and him together - with dignity and respect.
I'm sorry for making this post rather self-serving.
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:982240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/982562.html