Posted by Chan Fook on January 24, 2011, at 9:20:42
In reply to Re: Addictive Personality Disorder, how to approach? » Chan Fook, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2011, at 8:54:39
Hey Dinah thanks for the reply sorry for the late response on my behalf,
Well, what can I say, are there healthier ways to be an addict? I'm not sure. I'm not sure about you, but when I'm working on assignments in university, I'll have bursts of concentration and ability to focus at my task at hand without my addictions destroying my focus, but these don't last long (3-4 days) and in between my focus is horrid and I cannot focus on my work as my brain is clouded on surfing the net, sex, what not.
I think for me, it is not so much an issue with switching habbits, unfortunately most of mine have been ongoing and the same since an early age, with caffeine being a relatively recent addition a couple of years back. Problem is, I admit I've got this addiction problem, I realize that it's ruining or lowering my quality of life, but I simply can't get away from doing these things. To put it figuratively, imagine you're an alcoholic, and next to your workdesk you have a huge bottle of whiskey tempting you throughout your day. The whiskey bottle is the metaphor for me being distracted whilst working, and how impossible it is for me to fight temptation. I'll give you an example of what this does to me:
So I'm doing my work, whatever, and suddenly, BAM, I get this thought in my head to surf the net, waste time, watch a porno, whatever, but the thing is, I simply can't get this thought out of my head. It eats up inside of me and I feel like I have no control over what I'm doing until I'm satisfied I've wasted enough time (j*ck*d *ff, or whatever. p.s. if I'm too open in my habbits, sorry, but I don't want to live in denial) then I get into a feeling of horrible regret and think "Oh god not again". I know that these things aren't inherently addictive like cocaine or heroin, but I simply can't stop myself, I'm not in control of my body when I have an urge to do anything I'm addicted to, and it's affecting my life.
I'm glad that you find enjoyment in those games, that's great. I have unfortunately grown out of my games, I find them fun now and again. Thing is, with computer use especially, you can't "up your dose" as it were, I sit on the pc and mindlessly browsing the internet, and I'm at my same "dose" (or lower in fact, since I'm not having as much fun as before) as when the first time I hopped on and was intrigued by it in the first place.
One thing though, that cured me (albeit temporarily until the effect "wore" off) was the feeling of being in love. I remember the first time I met my girlfriend and we spent 3 weeks together. I didn't have an urge in the world other than my sexual needs (though these were lower than usual, to the point of normal I guess you could say). But after that we didn't see each other for a while, and as you know, first times never come back no matter how hard you try to replicate the same conditions. But yeah, that's probably the closest I've been to fixing myself you could say. Although obviously I can't say: "I would prescribe love, in high high doses"
Anyway I don't know what else to say really. I know I've mystified or sort of made what I wrote to continually refer back to analogies to make it sound easier what I'm trying to say. I hope it makes sense.
I know this might sound like a load of babble, but hey, I'm on this website so maybe I won't sound that messed up.
poster:Chan Fook
thread:977657
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/977832.html